About a year and a half ago, at the end of a stressful home school year, I felt the Lord whisper in my heart to "S L O W D O W N......"
What? Me? I can't do that! I am busy! I have responsibilities! I thrive on the going and the doing.
"But, you are worn out. You are weary. Come to Me."
I felt the impression on my heart that the time is short, this precious time with my people at home. And maybe, I had been forgetting many of the reasons I had kept them home in the first place. I always had these visions of cuddling on the couch while reading great literature, and having beautifully behaved children who always loved doing their copywork. Reality check. We never had the *time* to ponder over those read alouds, when we had co ops to go to, papers to write, math curriculum to complete, and me freaking out that they were not learning enough. I was bone tired of it, too. I was not filling their souls with Scripture like I desired to. And that made me feel like a failure.
So, a change was made. We pulled out of our co op that had been our everything for 6 years. we backed out of every obligation that wasn't a necessity. I tucked away the History and Science books, and bought everyone Bible journals. We started to focus on reading Scripture together. Our morning Bible times included all 6 of my kids together, ages 15 and down, and while at first I thought that would be difficult, it turned out to be more than I could have imagined. We got to experience the child-like faith of the little ones, alongside the growing understanding of the older ones. We learned from each other. We grew in faith together as a family.
We did not do as much formal "schooling" that year. And, I gradually learned to let go of the guilt of that. I realized I had been putting too much emphasis on what "man" says my kids should be learning, and not near enough importance on what God says they should be learning. I had these little eternal souls right here for me to pour into, and it was time to do just that.
So much fruit came from this year of quiet togetherness. My oldest four all decided it was time to follow the Lord in believer's baptism. What joy to my momma heart!
And, during this time, I heard the Lord urge me to Missions work. Me. Work that would change my life. Work that would set me on a different course of ministry.(You can read about my trip to India on the Missions page of this blog.) I do not know if I would have heard that call unless I had learned that year to quiet myself and listen to Him. I do not know if I would have said "yes" to that call before. And when you say "YES" to the Lord, I can guarantee you that things are going to change! He rewards the steps of obedience that you take, even if you take them in disbelief and weakness.
When I heard the phrase "leaving my "YES" on the table for God", I realized that is how I want to live my life. I want Him to know that when He has a job for me, I will do it! And guess what started to happen? He started making me feel like a cannon ready to shoot! He opened the doors of opportunity to minister in incredible new ways. My calendar started filling up again, but this time I was not exhausted! I was learning that when I truly rely on HIS STRENGTH, He gives it. Maybe His strength was what I had been lacking for awhile.
Isaiah 40:31 (NIV) But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; THEY WILL RUN AND NOT GROW WEARY. They will walk and NOT BE FAINT.
Then I started pondering what it is like when my own children have an attitude of "YES" towards ME. How much more I am willing to trust them with when they have a posture of obedience and willingness. I know I will ask them to take on larger tasks, and reward them upon completion. I think of how I am more willing to help them with their tasks, when they have that submissiveness. I think our Heavenly parent must feel the same.
If you feel Him calling you to action, listen. Search the Scriptures to verify it is from Him. Your "YES" is important.